


Vibrant

by InsomniaMagic



Series: BokuAka Week 2018 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also Sadness, Alternate Universe - College/University, BokuAka Week, Day 2, Hurt, M/M, Pain, Rhymes, Some depression, flower shop, glimpse of bokuroo, glimpse of kuroken, outside of canon, the sadness isn´t within the relationship itself, there is death mentioned but in a different way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 03:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniaMagic/pseuds/InsomniaMagic
Summary: BokuAka Week 2018Day 2: Flower ShopBokuto felt the tip of Akaashi´s fingers on his shoulder. He didn´t ask any questions, he didn´t deem them important. His heart got overwhelmed by the joy of a human contact. His face lit up in the middle of the dark night.Akaashi stood there proudly, almost challenging Bokuto to make a decision about something Bokuto couldn´t understand yet. “Well, maybe tomorrow.” Akaashi bowed and got back to the flower shop.Bokuto felt the discomfort creeping back into his feet, this time without making a single move. By some miracle, he was able to ignore it until he got back home, all alone and lonely.When the next day came, Bokuto visited the flower shop again.





	Vibrant

**Author's Note:**

> This one is rhyming (it´s prose and poems interwined, don´t worry, it always continues the story), so please, don´t be surprised if the rhythm in the text changes :)

 

 

His feet hurt. Bokuto looked down, his eyes glued towards the cracked pavement of grey and white colours. There was no shattered glass, but the pain felt like it was far and wide. Step by step, one, two, three. He grabbed his shirt so strongly, it almost ripped.

The non-existent glass was hurting him. Nonetheless, he kept going until he reached the place. Bokuto stared at the blooming flowers full of colours. He desired to touch them, knowing it´s impossible if he wanted to keep them living, at least for a while longer.

His eyes found a man with a spray can, deepening the green on the tulip leaves. Bokuto sighed at the image of natural beauty crushed, until the man noticed him.

“Do you need help?”

Bokuto shrugged. “No-yes. Maybe.”

“Which one?”

Which one what? Which flower? Which answer?

“Would you like to see something up close? Let me show you.” The man left the counter and came towards the door, cutting through Bokuto with his deep jade eyes, making Bokuto feel like lost in the forest hiding in awaken images of entirely different, effortless and natural beauty. “Here, a sunflower maybe?”

Bokuto took a step back, his skin almost touched not only the yellow flower, but the man too. “No, I can´t.” He made a sound of agony, his foot stepping down involuntarily. Bokuto looked around, discovering what he was looking for.

Maybe a succulent would survive his stroke.

Something should, right?

He cannot live without love any longer.

Seconds before he grabbed the succulent into his palms, Bokuto dropped it and ran, ignoring the ache his feet made more intense with every passing minute.

 

 

“Stop!” the man from the flower shop yelled, extending his arms towards Bokuto, grabbing him by his sleeve.

“Don´t!” Bokuto yelled with eyes wide and shaking. His shoulders slumped, but the flower man didn´t move. “Why did you follow me?”

The man seemed to contemplate his answer. “Curiosity.”

Bokuto frowned. “Yeah.”

The man watched his expression getting darker. “How can you get even gloomier than before?” He whispered. “By the way, my name is Akaashi Keiji. Nice to meet you.”

“Uhm,” Bokuto mumbled.

“I mean it.”

“Why?”

“Because you can´t touch anything without killing it, right?” Akaashi asked, knowing things he shouldn´t. “And right now, I am touching you.”

Bokuto felt the tip of Akaashi´s fingers on his shoulder. He didn´t ask any questions, he didn´t deem them important. His heart got overwhelmed by the joy of a human contact. His face lit up in the middle of the dark night.

Akaashi stood there proudly, almost challenging Bokuto to make a decision about something Bokuto couldn´t understand yet. “Well, maybe tomorrow.” Akaashi bowed and got back to the flower shop.

Bokuto felt the discomfort creeping back into his feet, this time without making a single move. By some miracle, he was able to ignore it until he got back home, all alone and lonely.

 

 

When the next day came, Bokuto visited the flower shop again.

He stood right at the door, watching the excruciating floor.

Akaashi saw him and invited the man in,

Shattered glass of nothing didn´t stuck under his feet, for a short while, it lets him breathe.

They spent together many days like this,

Akaashi working, threading flowers into masterpieces,

Bokuto sharing his stories, letting go of the pain, putting together the broken pieces.

 

 

“I loved a man, I kissed him,

it was then when making love, my touch accidentally killed him.

I loved a man with hair black as a coal,

there is not a day I don´t think of him, it was all my fault.

After that, I visited my parents, it was a wrong call

as I hugged my mom, her lifeless body fell down to the floor,

I grabbed my father pleading, his eyes closed in disappointment, I could only crawl,

and my sister slapped me, her breath left her lungs, I ran out of the door.

 

 

The trees, the animals, the teachers and friends,

anything I touched left me, I made it die, it was me they couldn´t withstand.

And if you lay a hand on me, if you stay close by my side, you will die too Akaashi,

it´s only a matter of time.“

 

 

Akaashi didn´t let him win so easy,

he never said why he liked the man, maybe he was crazy,

Anyway, he always listened as he worked the flowers, never lazy,

It was in six months, when Bokuto realized Akaashi doesn´t share, the memories started getting hazy.

 

 

“May I kiss you now?” Akaashi asked when the closing time came by.

Bokuto disagreed, ready to flee if he needed to act fast.

“You won´t kill me,” Akaashi assured him, almost smiling wide,

“Do you promise?” Bokuto murmured, his dream of love flying by.

 

 

Akaashi leaned into Bokuto´s lips, both men trembling with anticipation and fear,

from the moment on, two things were absolutely clear.

They loved each other, there was no doubt thanks to their beating hearts anyone could hear,

They survived, Bokuto´s weird curse not affecting Akaashi´s life, “I told you, my dear.”

 

 

“Can you tell me when it started?” Akaashi asked suddenly, when walking together down the street.

“I am not sure,” Bokuto admitted, feeling a lot better and lighter, still being pulled down a little by the darkness hiding in his soul.

Akaashi made a coughing motion. “Um, are you sure you don´t know?”

Bokuto looked at him under the moonlight. His new friend or boyfriend or partner was as light as a ghost, almost transparent. Bokuto was sure his eyes must be deceiving him. He shook his head and closed his eyes, then opened. Akaashi was still there, smiling.

 

 

“I don´t-“ Bokuto was consumed by the heat of the rising fire in his lungs. The burning was unbearable, but truthful. “I stopped believing. I didn´t believe. I still don´t.”

“In what?” Akaashi circled around the man like a prey marking its victim. “In what, Bokuto-san?”

“I-“

“Did you feel alone?”

“Lonely.”

“Did you feel like there is no one to help you? To ground you?”

“Yes.”

“And were you alone?”

“I said lonely.”

“But were you?” For the first time, Akaashi raised his voice.

Bokuto had been shaking for a while in the warmth of the night and the burning of the imperceptible fire. “No. I was missing something. I still am.”

“Was there surely no one to help you?”

“No. But yet, I couldn´t be helped.”

Bokuto´s body tumbled to the ground, face in tears, heart devastated. “I didn´t believe in myself, so I pushed everyone away. It was like they died. It _is_ like they died, because I wasn´t willing to let them in. They tried and tried and they tried until they really lost any faith they had in me. Just one moment was enough for me to fall and never get back up. And it hurts. It – hurts.”

Akaashi crouched beside him, rocking him like a child. “Do you feel the pain now?” he whispered into his ear a bit distantly, like he´d soon disappear.

“Yes.”

“Do you feel the glass? The sharpness of its broken edges?”

“No.”

“Do you think you can learn to believe in yourself again?”

Bokuto sniffed, huge snot coming down his nose. “Yes. I might be ready.”

“Good.”

Bokuto closed his eyes, let himself be held in the softest arms he ever felt.

When he woke up, he was all by himself.

 

 

The last thing Bokuto remembered was Akaashi´s smile. He ran to the flower shop to thank him, to hug him, to kiss him again, hell, certainly propose to him if Akaashi´d let him.

Nothing.

Flower shop was there, bursting with vibrant flowers as always, with Akaashi nowhere in sight.

Bokuto moved his head left and right, asking about the most beautiful being in the whole world. There were three workers inside the shop.

The first one told him: “He quit today.”

The second one frowned: “I don´t know the man or the name.”

The third one smiled: “I wasn´t anymore sure he really worked here.”

Bokuto´s head pressed him to get back home, to take refuge under the blankets when the huge heart of his stopped him.

“I promised.” He gazed towards the sun. “I promised I will try again.”

 

 

For the first time, Bokuto had no need to figure out the mystery. The hole left in his heart by Akaashi Keiji was bulking up with the hope of a new start.

He was at college, he still had an opportunity at his dream, at volleyball. There was no chance he could get back his previous boyfriend, but he surely hoped to get his best friend back.

Bokuto returned with his shoulder slouched. He left the volleyball club in the second semester of his college studies. It´s been six months since he engaged with his teammates and zero days since he trained.

“The burden is back,” Bokuto thought, then shook his head with verve. “No, don´t think like this, he wouldn´t let you.” Akaashi.

Akaashi, Akaashi, Akaashi.

The name repeated itself like he was afraid he might forget. What if he will? The man disappeared like a ghost and Bokuto didn´t feel the need to search for him.

Maybe deep down inside, he knew he shouldn´t and wouldn´t find him. It was too good to be true. There was something otherworldly about Akaashi Keiji. There was something-

“Koutaro.”

Bokuto stared right at his former best friend and later, a lot more. “Tetsurou.” With a corner of his eye, he noticed one of the first year players. Kozume Kenma, Kuroo´s new partner.

“I tried to call you. I did call you and write and visited and-“

“I know. I am sorry.” Bokuto expected anger and yelling.

What he got was one big hug. “I missed you, friend.”

“I missed you too.”

They let each other go, unwillingly. “I think you already know Kenma. He saved-“

“I was there when you weren´t,” Kenma corrected the sentence.

Bokuto´s nostrils got bigger, it wasn´t Kuroo who fumed. “Good. You are better for him than me.” he played with his fingernails nervously, waiting for the coach to arrive.

“He will let you come back,” Kuroo assured him, knowing his worries without expressing them with words.

“Do we have any other first years?” Bokuto needed to fill the silence. Bokuto required to get back to his own roots, to his carefree spirit. Slowly but surely, he was getting there.

Kuroo and Kenma exchanged glances. “Yes,” they answered in harmony.

As the coach came in, he was followed by two additional students, one of which Bokuto recognized instantly.

Akaashi Keiji stared right at the three of them, eyes landing at Bokuto. He smiled with the angelic beam of his.

“I couldn´t help you, but there were others who could,” Kuroo alleged almost silently, Bokuto hardly heard him.

“What?” Bokuto´s eyes were eclectic with excitement.

“Nothing.” Kuroo took Kenma by his hand, this time exchanging glances with Akaashi. Bokuto was so mesmerized by his presence, he didn´t notice the small nod they gave to each other.

Akaashi closed the distance between him and Bokuto, watching him as he teared up. “Come here.” He spread his arms, inviting him in. As he caressed his hair, Keiji spoke: “I am sorry I left. Sometimes, there are things we have to deal with by ourselves. You did it. With the right push, you did it.”

“But why-“

“Even I had to make sure it´s right,

I had to make sure it´s true,

Not everything is as loud and clear and bright

as we would like it to be, to walk simply through,

 

 

Everyone has their own demons, I am not the exception,

And as I signed up to come back,

Somehow I knew this was the day you would be here on your own volition,

I decided to train with you on the same track.”

 

 

“Are you real?” Bokuto wept onto his neck.

“I am not a ghost, nor am I an angel. I am Akaashi Keiji and I am here for you. I was called to help, I am staying here for my own health. I am not a spirit, I am not a familiar. I am your friend and teammate and boyfriend if you let me. If you will, I´ll love you more than whatever you could ever dream up.”

“You are real.” Koutaro´s tears dried up and he mouthed to Kuroo, to Kenma to Keiji: “Thank you.”

He´s changed into the training gear and jogged back to his beginning.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for your time, if you got to the end even when I dared to rhyme again :) I just cant shake it, I love writing like that! I know it´s somewhat sad again, but as i always say - I love bittersweet stories or at least endings. Especially, I love the fight for someones happiness. Everyone has its demons and how victorious it feels when we are able to overcome them, right? I just like to give others some hope this way... it might not seem like it, but it feels therapeutic to me :) Day 4 will take the cake, when it comes to these issues, I guess... 
> 
> Please, take care of yourself, if you feel angry today or overwhelmed, go for a run, if you hate running, try kickboxing, or simply open the window and shout as loud as you can. 
> 
> :*


End file.
